“Come Christmas when the 2nd lockdown happened, I contacted the doctor because I thought there was something physically wrong with me. I’ve been at the doctors maybe 3 times in 10 years, I don’t go and thankfully I keep good health. I thought there was something really wrong with me. The GP was fantastic, got every test done and thankfully there was nothing wrong. The more I spoke about it, it was just almost like stress, it manifested itself and affected my physical health which has never happened before. I am reasonably self-aware but I had no clue that’s what it was, I thought there was something wrong with me and it was actually the pressure of trying to cope…:

Signs and symptoms of carer stress and burnout

Learning to recognise the signs of carer stress and burnout is important, so you can take immediate action to prevent things from becoming worse and start improving the situation for both you and the person you care for. While stress affects everyone differently, there are common signs and symptoms to look out for.

Common signs and symptoms of carer stress

• Feelings of constant worry, anxiety and depression
• Becoming easily irritated or angry
• Difficulty concentrating
• Mood swings
• Feeling tired and run down
• Difficulty relaxing and/or sleeping
• Frequent headaches, bodily pains, particularly muscle tension, or other physical problems
• New or worsening health problems
• Trouble concentrating.
• Drinking, smoking, or eating more.
• Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy

If you experience these symptoms for a prolonged period, and feel they are affecting your everyday life or making you feel unwell, you should speak to your GP. You should ask for information about the support services and treatments available to you. Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to care for anyone else.

How to manage carer stress

While caring for a loved one will never be stress-free, the following tips may help you:

Ask for help: Taking on all the responsibilities of caring without regular breaks or assistance is a guarantee to carer stress and burnout. Don’t try to do it all alone. Don’t be shy about asking for or accepting help from others. Let people feel good about supporting you. Try to get as many family members and friends involved as possible. Even someone who lives far away can help. You may also want to divide up caregiving tasks. One person can take care of medical responsibilities, another with finances and bills, and another with groceries and errands, for example.

Take a break: Look into respite care. Where possible, enlist friends and family who live near you to run errands or watch the person you care for so you can take a well-deserved break.  Volunteers or paid help can also provide in-home services, either occasionally or on a regular basis. Or you can explore out-of-home respite care such as adult day care centres and nursing homes.  Try and get out of the house. Seek out friends, family, and respite care providers to step in with caregiving so you can have some time away from the home.

“Whenever you come together it’s an opportunity to vent. If you get really frustrated go and scream into a pillow, acknowledge that frustration rather than just pretending it doesn’t happen because we all get there, we all get that time where we think I just can’t do this anymore, I’m going to blow my top. For your own stress levels and your own anxieties, you need some sort of little thing suggesting do this. It may seem stupid but do this and you will feel better for 5 minutes.”

Maintain your personal relationships: Try not to let friendships get lost in your role of caring. These relationships will help sustain you and keep you positive. If it’s difficult to leave the house, invite friends over to visit with you over coffee, tea, or dinner.

Take time for hobbies and interests: Make regular time for hobbies that bring you happiness, whether it’s reading, working in the garden, walking or sports activities.

Find ways to pamper yourself. Small luxuries can go a long way towards relieving stress and boosting your spirits. Light candles and take a long bath. Get a manicure. Buy fresh flowers for the house. Whatever makes you feel special. Obviously, the cost-of-living crisis has hit everyone, including carers, very hard. In some regions (for example, Northern Ireland) it is possible to get a carers’ assessment whereby the HSC Trust gives you £100 but you must spend it on yourself and show proof that you have done so.

Take care of your own health: It’s easy to forget about your own health when you’re busy with a loved one’s care. Don’t skip check-ups or medical appointments. You need to be healthy in order to take good care of your family member.

Exercise: When you’re stressed and tired, the last thing you feel like doing is exercising. But you’ll feel better afterwards. Exercise is a powerful stress reliever and mood enhancer. Aim for a minimum of 30 minutes on most days—break it up into three 10-minute sessions if that’s easier. When you exercise regularly, you’ll also find it boosts your energy level and helps you fight fatigue.

Relaxation or meditation: A daily relaxation or meditation technique can help you relieve stress and boost feelings of well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation. Even a few minutes in the middle of an overwhelming day can help you feel more centred.

Healthy eating: Nourish your body with fresh fruit, vegetables, lean protein, and healthy fats such as fish, nuts, and olive oil. Unlike sugar and caffeine—which provide a quick pick-me-up and an even quicker crash—these foods will fuel you with steady energy.

Try and get regular sleep. Cutting back on time in bed is counterproductive—at least if your goal is to accomplish more. Sleep is important and we need more sleep than we tend to think (8 hours is the norm). When you get less, your mood, energy, productivity, and ability to handle stress will suffer.

Carer support group: A caregiver support group is a great way to share your troubles and find people who are going through similar experiences each day. If you can’t leave the house, many online groups are also available.

Talk to others: Find a trusted person to talk to. The organisations listed later in this section are there to help.

The caregiver who works outside the home: Some carers work outside of the home. If you work outside the home and you’re a carer, you may begin to feel overwhelmed. If you do, think about taking leave from your job for a period of time. The introduction of a new statutory entitlement to leave for unpaid carers who are balancing working alongside their caring responsibilities are entitled to take up to one week of unpaid leave per year.