What is anxiety?

• Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, which can be mild or severe.
• Anxiety is what we feel when we are worried, tense or afraid – particularly about things that are about to happen, or which we think could happen in the future.

“I’m sure we can all say the same thing, worry is there all the time from the minute you go to bed you can’t sleep because you are thinking about the future.”

• Anxiety is a natural human response when we feel that we are under threat. It can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.
• Anxiety is a characteristic feature of most people. In its ‘normal’ form, it helps with vigilance, learning and general performance. In short, anxiety is useful. However, in excess it starts to work against us. Extremes of self-focus and apprehension quickly reduce attention and performance, perhaps aggravated by that particular blend of emotions (such as anger, shame, guilt or sadness mixing with a dominating fear) that make up each person’s unique ‘anxiety’.
• Anxiety and feelings of stress are symptoms, a response to pressure – the more intolerable or persistent the pressure, the worse the anxiety. And this does not necessarily mean a single, overwhelming difficulty. More often it is an accumulation of things.

“You have got the anxiety that is keeping you going because you know you have got to protect your loved ones, but it does take its toll on you. I’ve just been so exhausted, I really have.”

Things to look out for

• Anxiety feels different for everyone. You might experience some of the physical and mental effects listed here, as well as effects in other areas of your life.
• You might also have experiences or difficulties with anxiety that are not identified here.
• Anxiety can be displayed by effects on both your body (physical effects) and on your mind (emotional/psychological effects)
• Physical effects of anxiety might include the following:
  • Nausea
  • The feeling of ‘butterflies’ in your stomach
  • Sweating
  • Needing to go to the toilet more than usual
  • Increased or pronounced heartbeat
  • Sleep problems
  • Panic attacks

• Emotional/psychological effects of anxiety might include:
  • feeling tense, nervous or unable to relax
  • having a sense of dread, or fearing the worst
  • feeling like the world is speeding up or slowing down
  • feeling like other people can see you are anxious and are looking at you
  • feeling like you can’t stop worrying, or that bad things will happen if you stop worrying
  • wanting lots of reassurance from other people or worrying that people are angry or upset with you
  • worrying that you’re losing touch with reality
  • low mood and depression
  • rumination – thinking a lot about bad experiences, or thinking over a situation again and again
  • depersonalisation – a type of dissociation where you feel disconnected from your mind or body, or like you are a character that you are watching in a film
  • derealisation – another type of dissociation where you feel disconnected from the world around you, or like the world isn’t real
  • worrying a lot about things that might happen in the future

“It was actually very difficult for the whole family to try and cope with the anxiety of it all. Then because we were all afraid of what might happen if [daughter] was to get Covid we basically all shut down and shut ourselves away as well which made our worlds smaller, it just made everything more intense, more stressful within the family.”

“I think the parents of disabled children live with a much greater level of anxiety every day normally anyway so our anxiety levels are up normally, so Covid was a catalyst if you like that really sent that spiralling upwards. Many of us lived up there and that is going to have an impact on everybody around you as well because behaviour breeds. When we were in that intense anxiety we just got on with it, I filled my time with home programmes, unpacking and stuff like that because we had just moved out. You just get on with it and you are functioning at that very high anxiety mode.”

What should you do about it?

Self-help

[N.B. While it’s not always possible to take some of the measures we suggest in this section because of the pressure carers are under, we thought they were worth highlighting].

Talk to someone:

• Making the time and finding the courage to talk to someone you trust about what’s making you anxious could be a relief and help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and stress. It may be that just having someone listen to you and show they care can help in itself. For family carers, peer support is so important and sharing problems with those in a similar position to yourself can really help.
• If you aren’t able to open up to someone close to you, the Samaritans run a helpline that you can call to talk to someone.

Look after your physical health:

• Go for a walk: A five minute or longer, walk around the garden or local area can help you think and remove you from a stressful situation.
• Get more active: You don’t have to run a marathon to feel the benefits of exercise. Getting off the bus or lift a stop/floor early or doing some stretching can improve your mood and help alleviate stress and anxiety.
• Improve your sleep: Anxiety can be exhausting. See our section on ‘Sleep’ for some tips on how to sleep better.
• Avoid caffeine: Drinking too much caffeine can make you more anxious than normal. This is because caffeine can disrupt your sleep and also speed up your heartbeat. If you are tired, you are less likely to be able to control your anxious feelings. Avoiding drinks containing caffeine – such as coffee, tea, fizzy drinks and energy drinks – may help reduce your anxiety levels.
• Avoid smoking and drinking: Smoking and alcohol have been shown to make feelings of anxiety worse. Only drinking alcohol in moderation or stopping smoking if you smoke may help reduce your anxiety.
• Think about your diet: Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels.

Learn to relax:

• You may find relaxation and breathing exercises helpful, or you may prefer activities such as yoga or pilates to help you unwind.
• You may find that complementary and alternative therapies help you to manage your anxiety, for example aromatherapy, reflexology, massage, herbal treatments or hypnotherapy.
• Why not try a brief grounding technique – e.g. the 5,4,3,2,1 technique: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-article/grounding-techniques-article

Treatment

If you have tried the self-help methods above, and are still feeling anxious, you may want to take things a step further. There are various evidence-based treatments that have been found to help with anxiety

• Self-help resources: A self-help resource might be the first treatment option your GP offers you. This is because it’s available quite quickly, and there’s a chance it could help you to feel better without needing to try other options. An example of a self-help resource would be online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) programmes.
• Talking therapies: Your GP is also likely to offer you access to talking therapies for anxiety, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Applied Relaxation Therapy.
• Medication: Your doctor might offer to prescribe you medication, such as antidepressants or Beta Blockers to help manage your symptoms. Some people find it helpful to try talking therapies and medication at the same time, but medication shouldn’t be the only thing you’re offered.